Joke me something awful

I'm sick of shitty people.

Example A. I've lived in this neighborhood for a little over 7 years. I pretty much keep to myself but I always go out of my way to say hello or wave to my neighbors and will engage in small talk if necessary. So there's this guy I always passed when I used to do my run. He doesn't live on my street but a couple of streets over. He's really the unfriendly sort. It took me about two months to get him to respond to me when I would say hello to him when I would pass him. I think part of the problem was that I was onto his scam of walking his dog and allowing it to crap on everyone else's lawn without picking it up and carrying it home to dispose as the rules in our covenants state. We even get reminders written on whiteboards at the beginning of our subdivision so there really is no excuse for this sort of ignorant behavior. I caught him doing it a couple of times but never said anything, I just filed it away and would refer to him as the guy who let his dog crap on everyone's lawn without picking it up.

But after about 2 months of continued HELLO'S on my part, this old fart finally said hello back to me. I considered it a success because this guy is what I call MAD AT THE WORLD. You know the type--mad at everyone for all of life's little hardships and blaming everyone else for the fact that he's a loser. The type that would take his dog out every single day and purposely allow it to crap on a neighbor's lawn without cleaning up after it as a way of sticking it to all of his so-called enemies. I can just picture him chuckling at home about how it's such an awesome thing that he lets his dog crap everywhere. HehHehHehHeh. I can almost hear him. And you KNOW he's the type who would have a complete COW if you allowed your pet to do the same thing he does to everyone else. Typical ass.

Fast forward to today. I pass him walking his dog (he actually took the dog to the backyard of a home that is for sale to take a crap because that's where I saw him exiting and he has no business being on that property). He continues walking down the street and I passed by him and WAVED PLUS SAID HELLO and this freak looked me straight in the eyes and then turned away without saying anything. I was dismissed. That was IT for me. I said "OKAYYYYYYYY" and let out a huge sigh like WTF? and ran by his obnoxious ass. I will NEVER acknowledge him again for the rest of my life. Some people are just beyond any sort of redemption. I am convinced of this. He better stay off the streets, too, because I might be tempted to run him over if he gets in my way.

Exhibit B. I asked my daughter to take her car to get an emissions test so that I can get the yearly car registration sticker. I give her a check to pay for the test, I am paying for the registration, we paid for the car in full and gave it to her and we also pay the insurance each month on the car. Well, she starts giving me attitude about how it's such a bother to go get it inspected! Lots of stomping around and mumbling under her breath. Now if I was the sort of person who made up a huge list each day and asked everyone to complete all the tasks or ELSE, I could understand all the drama, however, I rarely ask anything of anyone. She's 25 and living at home with no plans to leave any time soon. I keep asking my husband if we can just slip away during the night and leave everyone because I am convinced no one will ever leave. They left, found out life was difficult/expensive in the real world and came back.

Part of the reason I've been having a hard time lately is that I see no end to this and I think that a good mother should just go with the flow and welcome everyone back and not feel like I'm losing something important that I feel I've worked towards (my children growing up and moving out). I told my husband that I would not have had children so young if I had known that things would turn out like this. More than half my life has been spent caring for other people and before that I lived at home and was under the thumb of very strict parents. It's like I never got to live and have tons of fun or be in any way selfish. EVER. I know that's dramatic, but it's how I feel sometimes. And when stuff like this emissions test kerfluffle comes up, I want to quietly go into my room, get a suitcase, pack a few things, then hit the road. And here's the thing. I don't think I would look back or be sad because I'm so over all of them. I know in a few hours I'll have cooled off but right this minute I can picture myself by myself forever.

Invisible

I want to know what's so hard about saying hello. I should qualify that. I want to know what's so hard about being the first one to say hello to someone you know because there are so many women who will NOT say hello to me unless I say it first. What's the big fucking deal is what I want to know.

Today at my daughter's sporting event (yes, another sporting event rant) I knew a number of women from the opposing team from years ago when our girls all played together. I sat with those women for years and chatted with them but today, the bunch of them walked by me three times before I finally shouted out hello!!! and they were then forced to acknowledge me. I was tempted to not say anything but then I'd be just as bad as they are. I just don't get it. I don't get what the big fucking deal is in saying hello and being normal. Somebody fill me in, please.

Honestly, I don't like most women because they behave like this...like it's a big imposition to be kind. Most women sit down and what they do to you is they look you up and down and they mentally take in what you are wearing, or how well your makeup is applied, or what kind of purse you are carrying, and they do this in the hopes that they can feel superior to you in some way. I don't do this because I don't care about superficial crap like that. I gravitate towards men because of this. Men love me. Women? Not so much and I've never understood why. I think it's really sad that women say we should support each other but most of us are working overtime doing the exact opposite.

And while I'm ranting, what's the deal with people who can't at least try to pretend that they are interested in anything other than themselves? I ask them question after question and they never ask anything about me for fear the spotlight won't be on them for 2 minutes. I don't get why I even bother or care any more.

Sometimes I get to the end of the day and I just feel like crying. I think I'm just being oversensitive. The world is such a huge place and sometimes I feel so incredibly small-- like the earth could open and swallow me whole and no one would even notice I'm gone.