Hey, I gotta run...

So. I'm starting to get a little perturbed with friends who call here and talk my ear off then want to beat a quick exit if I talk about myself for a moment. Ditto for the friends who call then while they are in the middle of talking to me, indicate they are getting another phone call they need to take and say, "I don't mean to cut you off but I really need to take this call," then basically cut me off and end the call.

This is why I don't like telephones--the rude factor creeps in almost all the time. There's never any reciprocation and part of the reason there's no reciprocation is that I do not grab my phone every time I want to vent. Talking to other people never helps me get through things--ever. I work things out in my head on my own or I write them out here but I do not force anyone to come here to read or give me feedback because that's not how I do things. I do not think other people hold the answers I need to get through this life. I think I hold the answers--I mean, I KNOW I hold the answers, although I do not know if I will ever be smart enough to find them within me. I keep trying, though, because I am stubborn and determined.

But I get tired of being the shoulder to cry on, the chipper cheerleader who searches her brain for positive things to say only to be cut off in the middle of doing what I know they are calling me to do for them in the first place. It feels like a slap in the face or a punch in the gut. It feels like a door being slammed in my face.

If I ruled the world, I would make a rule that if you call me, you do not get to end the call (unless there's an emergency)--that the end of the call should be left up to me especially if you interrupt my day, and I take the time to listen to you.

Can you hear me now????

"The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives."-Anthony Robbins

You should be a fly on the wall when I am on the phone with one of my children and my husband happens to be in the same room. Complete chaos takes over as I try to have a one on one conversation with one of them while my husband is interjecting questions and comments. I cannot complete a thought or a sentence without him trying to take over the conversation, but if I offer to hand the phone over to him in an attempt to end the madness, he waves me off like I am bothering him. I don't know what to say about this except that I hate it. I tell him before, during and after these phone calls that I do not appreciate being the mediator or being interrupted, but this never registers in a way that brings about a satisfactory behavioral change on his part. I'm going to start going into the bathroom and locking the door from now on when I want to talk in peace because I don't see this changing any time soon.

This is what happens, though, if I bring up to him that I've spoken to one of the kids (and he wasn't around to hijack the conversation). He'll start bombarding me with questions that he feels I should have asked them and if I haven't asked them those questions he tells me that I've neglected to find out/ask about the most important things! WTF? Yep. He does that every damn time as though I have somehow mysteriously developed telekinetic powers and can read his mind to know what he wants me to ask them. This is what I live with!

Sometimes I want to slam my cell phone to the ground and stamp the shit out of it. I know this would make me feel better about the lack of phone conversation etiquette in this house.