The center of everything

I am trying to burn down a pumpkin spiced candle that's almost at its end. I should probably just put it away already but I love the scent. It's raining outside--has been raining and cold most of the day. I ended up doing a little Christmas shopping today and bought some poinsettias for the house. I finally threw my pumpkins in the trash although what I wanted to do was toss them out back into the woods at the edge of our lawn so that they would rot and maybe the seeds would take root and sprout pumpkins next year but my husband said it would attract ants and apparently we don't want to attract a bunch of ants outside where they live anyway so in the trash they went.

I can't wait to run tomorrow since I wasn't able to run today. Sometimes I hate running so much I want to cry because of all the aches I end up having, but then I'll miss a day because of rain and all I can think about is running. I'm never sure whether I am running away from something or towards something--maybe a little of both. I do know that when I am out there, I forget about everything and that's a good thing when your head is always filled to bursting with thoughts that won't let you rest.

I received the most thoughtful, wonderful gift for my birthday--tickets to see The Phantom of the Opera and I can hardly wait until Saturday when we go. I had been quietly promoting this as a gift for a while amongst my family but no one seemed to get a clue so I gave up throwing out hints about a year ago. Then one day I was listening to the soundtrack and thinking to myself that I'd really like to go see it in person and the next day tickets arrived in the mail!! It was like magic. I wasn't feeling sorry for myself and I wasn't angry that I hadn't had the opportunity to go yet, I was simply thinking how great it would be to go. I didn't say a thing--I just had the thought in my head that I wanted to go and just like that, I am going!

In my dreams--the ones I manage to remember--I always have magical powers. I like thinking I'm learning to find the magic of my dreams when I'm awake.

Reasons for happiness

"We all have reasons
for moving.
I move
to keep things whole." ~Mark Strand

Here are a few things that make me happy lately:

-The other day we went for a "little drive up the road" for about three hours and ended up in another state and the Dairy Queen there had chocolate ice cream and I got a vanilla and chocolate swirl cone and it was delicious! I love Dairy Queen but love the ones that have chocolate more (where I live they only have vanilla!!!)

-Watching Wimbledon. I am a huge tennis fan and I love this time of the year when Wimbledon and the US Open roll around. I could watch it all day long.

-Watermelon! YUM! I buy them whole (seedless, of course)and cut them up in little pieces and they have to be ice cold and then I eat them all up in almost one sitting. This is one fruit that I can hog all by myself because I hide it deep in the refrigerator and no one bothers to look for it.

-We finally got notification that our stimulus check is on its way. We're always the last to get everything so this is a real thrill. Plus, we always OWE taxes so it's nice to be getting something back for a change. Not that we're going to do anything fun with it. It comes just in time to pay for the repairs on my son's car. Every frivolous cent that comes into this house predictably seems to go to something for my son (out of state college tuition, etc.) Not that I'm keeping track or anything.

-Rainbows. We had some freaky weather here last night and after it all went down, the sky turned this yellow-orange color and I don't know--it kind of felt like I was smack dab in the middle of the Wizard of Oz or something so I went outside to take a closer look and there was this perfect rainbow arching the sky. It was beautiful. I wished on it. I believe rainbows (seeing them) bring good luck. I believe in good luck!