Things I would not do...

I wouldn't take the box of Jujyfruits someone had bought for themselves and eat all but the green ones because I HATE THE GREEN ONES.

I wouldn't cause a long jam up at the drive through ATM because I was conducting about 20 transactions and behaving like I was the only one in the world who needed to use the machine.

I wouldn't send Harry and David fruit to a bunch of kids because "I'm on a health kick again this year."

I wouldn't try to sneak into the turn lane when there wasn't any room resulting in my car being half in the turn lane and half in the forward moving lane making it impossible for those behind me to go anywhere when the light turned green. (this happens so much where I live my blood pressure goes through the roof just thinking about it)

I wouldn't ask for advice on my blog then reprimand those whose comments aren't perfectly aligned with what I really wanted to hear.

I wouldn't tell my significant other that next year we ought to just get a small, fake little tree to put on a table somewhere because it's just way too much work for "us" while I was sitting on my ass in another room watching tv.

I would not pretend not to hear my significant other coming into the house with bags and bags of groceries when I am able to hear my significant other typing on the computer from 6 rooms away. In other words, I would not have selective supersonic hearing.