Invisible

I want to know what's so hard about saying hello. I should qualify that. I want to know what's so hard about being the first one to say hello to someone you know because there are so many women who will NOT say hello to me unless I say it first. What's the big fucking deal is what I want to know.

Today at my daughter's sporting event (yes, another sporting event rant) I knew a number of women from the opposing team from years ago when our girls all played together. I sat with those women for years and chatted with them but today, the bunch of them walked by me three times before I finally shouted out hello!!! and they were then forced to acknowledge me. I was tempted to not say anything but then I'd be just as bad as they are. I just don't get it. I don't get what the big fucking deal is in saying hello and being normal. Somebody fill me in, please.

Honestly, I don't like most women because they behave like this...like it's a big imposition to be kind. Most women sit down and what they do to you is they look you up and down and they mentally take in what you are wearing, or how well your makeup is applied, or what kind of purse you are carrying, and they do this in the hopes that they can feel superior to you in some way. I don't do this because I don't care about superficial crap like that. I gravitate towards men because of this. Men love me. Women? Not so much and I've never understood why. I think it's really sad that women say we should support each other but most of us are working overtime doing the exact opposite.

And while I'm ranting, what's the deal with people who can't at least try to pretend that they are interested in anything other than themselves? I ask them question after question and they never ask anything about me for fear the spotlight won't be on them for 2 minutes. I don't get why I even bother or care any more.

Sometimes I get to the end of the day and I just feel like crying. I think I'm just being oversensitive. The world is such a huge place and sometimes I feel so incredibly small-- like the earth could open and swallow me whole and no one would even notice I'm gone.