I was going to write about regrets today but I've decided against it. Maybe another day.
What I want to write about is how the hills in the neighborhood where I run are huge and daunting. Going down feels like I am flying. Sometimes when I run I have the same song on replay on my IPOD for the entire 45 minutes to an hour I am out there. It's a quirk of mine that I need to feel inspired and sometimes just one song does it for me.
When I am around mile 3 and I am down at the bottom of the very last hill that I will have to go back up, I always take a quick peek to the top and think I can't possibly get up there again. There's just no way. I don't have the energy or the desire. Sometimes I pray that someone I know will drive by and offer to give me a lift home and I know that if they did, I would hop in their car in a heartbeat. As I am thinking these things, I continue to pound the pavement beneath me and before I know it, I am at the top and there's a moment when I turn back around to see how far I've come and I think how proud and happy I am that I did what I thought I could not do.
When I am out there exercising, it feels a little like I am shedding something I need to get rid of while at the same time I am gaining something very important that I cannot get anywhere else. I think I shed my fears for a while and I think I find serenity. I am running towards serenity.