I was going to write about regrets today but I've decided against it.  Maybe another day.
What I want to write about is how the hills in the neighborhood where I run are huge and daunting.  Going down feels like I am flying.  Sometimes when I run I have the same song on replay on my IPOD for the entire 45 minutes to an hour  I am out there.  It's a quirk of mine that I need to feel inspired and sometimes just one song does it for me.
When I am around mile 3 and I am down at the bottom of the very last hill that I will have to go back up, I always take a quick peek to the top and think I can't possibly get up there again. There's just no way.  I don't have the energy or the desire.  Sometimes I pray that someone I know will drive by and offer to give me a lift home and I know that if they did, I would hop in their car in a heartbeat.  As I am thinking these things, I continue to pound the pavement beneath me and before I know it, I am at the top and there's a moment when I turn back around to see how far I've come and I think how proud and happy I am that I did what I thought I could not do.
When I am out there exercising, it feels a little like I am shedding something I need to get rid of while at the same time I am gaining something very important that I cannot get anywhere else.   I think I shed my fears for a while and I think I find serenity.  I am running towards serenity.
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1 comment:
I think I'm in love with your blog. You're so present in the moments you're describing here. These are so painfully crystal clear. Thank you for blogging here.
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