Have the hot tamale train make a stop at my house to pick me up and take me far away---PLEASE

"It's just life. Just live it." ~The Quote Garden

It's been a long day. It started off early taking my husband to the airport. Thank goodness traffic wasn't too bad this morning. It's a short trip and he'll be home tomorrow night. He'll come home and ask me if I missed him and honestly, he's never gone long enough for that to happen so I usually tell him no.

I came home to the daily "car battles" that have been happening here and I've got to tell you, I've about had it with all of them. We're still 2 cars short(because did I tell you all that my son's transmission went on his trip home from college? because it did!!!) and so every day it's with this bickering and fighting over who gets what car. Apparently I missed an "almost physical fight" between my son and youngest daughter that my oldest daughter broke up. This is at 8 AM, mind you, and I don't wake up properly until after 10 AM which everyone knows.

So I come home to the aftermath of this drama and I'm not in any mood to be a referee anymore which is the role they always assign me. Then I have my son giving me a lecture about how I'm not parenting my youngest properly because she's a big mouth and doesn't back down! Huh? I finally slammed my bedroom door and locked it behind me because no one here can discuss things rationally without hitting below the belt. I don't know why my first response is to just run away from all of them, but there you have it. All I want to do is run away. I'm tired. I want them all to grow up and move the fuck out.

I'm sure I'll feel differently and better tomorrow but right now I'm pretty much over them.

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I think today is the last day of NCLM. I was right on track until I went on vacation and I just haven't been able to catch up so I guess I failed. Sigh. I cannot lie, my intentions are usually always better than my actions. I typically have no time for people like that. I'm quite the hypocrite sometimes.

Anyhow, what I wanted to say about the whole NCLM thing is that even though I wasn't able to follow through on my commitment, I really feel as though I got a lot out of the whole experience and I'd like to thank the Stirrup-Queen for heading this thing up.

Blogging can be a little cliquish in my opinion. I'll take a peek at blogrolls and click on a link and an identical blogroll appears on the link I clicked. Sometimes it feels like once a group is established, they don't want anyone else to come in. Now I could just be projecting, but that's how it FEELS to me so maybe there's a little bit of truth in what I'm saying. It's like they all link to each other and talk about each other in posts and outsiders just don't stand a chance against all that chummy friendliness.

The whole thing annoys me and I've mostly been happy staying here by myself and avoiding that because I guess I'm just getting too old to play games that aren't fun. I don't want to be in any group just to exclude other people. That doesn't work for me. I want to like who I like. I want to not read blogs I don't like and not feel like I have to swoon over someone just because a bunch of people say how wonderful they are. In other words, I have a working brain and can make my own decisions about who and what I like to read.

But NCLM was different because it was people who wanted to participate and I have to say that I'm so thrilled to have found a number of really great blogs that I know I will follow as long as the authors are writing. It opened me up to commenting again and while I find the whole comment thing tiresome when it feels like an obligation, I'm going to be true to myself and only comment when I feel as though I have something to add.

I know I've gained more than I thought I would , more than I gave, really, and that was nice. That was awesome.