I don't like it when people tell me the same story five times. It makes me feel like they don't remember sitting next to me the previous 4 times telling me the same thing. I don't understand people who can't remember details like this. Or do these people do this to everyone? I'd feel better if they did. I'd feel sorry for the other people, but I'd feel better about myself. Like, it's not ME, it's THEM--they're just bores who automatically repeat the same stories to any warm body sitting next to them. I think some people would benefit from some new material to talk about. I'd even cut them a break if they made something up.
Along the same lines, but not really...I have this friend that I see for months at a time then I won't see her for a month or two. We talk a lot but mostly she does the talking and I do the listening and sometimes I get to say a few things and I always believed she was listening to me when I could squeeze a few words in edgewise. I don't know how many times I have spoken to her about my son who goes to college out of state but it's been plenty. Well, yesterday we were talking and I said something about my son to her and she goes, "Where does he go to school?" And I told her AGAIN and she says, "Oh really?, I didn't know that." WTF? I looked at her, really looked at her, and thought about how much I hate sharing parts of myself with people who just don't care and about how tired I am of wasting my time with people who are not worth it. I mean, she was totally shocked to hear something I know I've mentioned to her numerous times. I don't get it. When people talk to me, I don't pretend to listen, I listen.
Like today, I was shopping at Kroger and some elderly man stopped me and told me I had beautiful hair. My hair is massively long which is another story for another day...but I had just washed it and my hair is big, and as close to black without being black that you can get. It's extremely long and wavy and for some reason, it seems to attract elderly men because they are forever coming up to me to talk about it and tell me how beautiful it is. Anyway, he goes into this spiel about how when he first met his wife she had hair as long as mine only it was auburn colored. Then he segues into how he asked her to marry him after only a week and how they eloped and about how his in laws didn't approve of him because he didn't have a job...etc. I remember what he was wearing, too, because I pay attention to details when someone is speaking to me. I know he had Arizona Green Tea in his cart and Saltines and brown eggs. I looked for his wedding ring while he was telling me his story. I was in a hurry, too, but I listened to him because I thought it wasn't costing me anything just to hear him out. It doesn't cost anything to listen.
So here's the thing--a friend of mine can't be bothered to listen to me when I am talking to her and I've decided I don't have time or room for that in my life anymore. There was a time when I know I would have wanted to fix that, when I know I would have wanted to sit beside her and make her think my life was interesting enough to remember but now I just don't care because the world is filled with people who sit beside you while you are talking and the only thing they are thinking about is what they want to say next. Nothing you say registers. I've decided that's not good enough for me anymore.
The circle of people I truly care about grows smaller by the day.
Midnight at the Democracy Dies in Darkness Café
2 hours ago